Rocket Man

You have to concede to one thing. This guy has some real stones.


Can you imagine ripping through the air, at a few thousand feet, with gallons of jet fuel strapped to your back?


Aside from my two favorite aspects of flying, takeoff and landing, this looks pretty fun!



I give this idea a 4-star rating. If it means we don't have to deal with airports, I am putting in my security deposit for one of these contraptions tomorrow. Just show me where I can put my rolling bag.

Somebody Bail Me Out!

What a wild rollercoaster ride it was on Wall Street this week with Lehman Brothers, AIG, Wachovia and others dropping like rocks.

Well, it's all going to be OK. The American people are going to save all of the banks and brokerage firms from going under.

As the foremost authority on insane ideas, I will confirm that this bailout qualifies.

In all seriousness, it might just work. By this time next year, AIG will be back on its feet and the CEO will be snacking on caviar at his Martha's Vineyard summer home.

Since I'm not a finance wizard, I had the BlastCranium research and development team look up what we were really in for on this bailout plan. After four hours, my team came back with this: "We have no clue."

Actually, they told me that there was one mathematical certainty and that is "Higher Taxes."

I know where there might be some good job openings: The U.S. Treasury, because we're going to have to start printing all of this money we're using for this damage plan.

A final thought: Maybe loaning money to someone who has bad credit, no cash and no job, to purchase a house is a bad idea.

I'm certain that it is.

Bathroom Humor

As you can now see, I am not beneath commenting on the most intimate of consumer products.

Quilted Northern has just released a 3-ply version of their flagship bathroom tissue brand.

They've cleverly decided to use a SOFT SELL to market this product to the American public (I can't take credit for this strategy - took it right out of the article in Brandweek).

After months of extensive analysis, I am speculating that a group of talented scientists came to conclusion that we all want just one more level of cushion.

Continued advancements in bathroom technology is proof that we are truly a sophisticated society. Liquid Prell, Mach Turbo Blades, toothpaste that makes teeth whiter and freshens our breath, soap on a rope, and, finally, softer toilet paper.

We're inching ever closer to the perfect bathroom experience.

Marketing Mayhem

It is time for me to dog pile on the Microsoft commercials. First of all, who under the age of 25 really cares what Jerry Seinfeld has to say? Maybe everyone...or maybe no one.

It appears that they are trying to merge the "something about nothing" format of the show Seinfeld with the quirky styles of the movie Napoleon Dynamite. The result...what the heck is going on here?

The Apple spots are funny and make a very strong point about the product and the personality of the brand. The Microsoft commercials show me what two really rich guys will look like when they hit 50.

Hey Bill and Jerry

In your next spot, please walk me through how to put Windows XP back on my laptop.

Campaign Fun

It could not be avoided. I will be covering as many election related ideas as possible.

Take a look at this masterpiece of merchandising. This action figure of GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin features all of the key accessories including Kazuo Kawasaki eyeglasses, a hockey stick and a hunting rifle.

Let's face it, she is huge. I can't stop watching her on television. Last night, I sat and stared at CNN for 30 minutes waiting for her to get off of the plane in Fairbanks. Get ready America!

Oh, also there are some Sarah Palin branded underwear. Too much?

High Speed Collision

I stumbled across this article. Scientists have been working in Europe for 24 years on this $10 billion project. It is a massive particle collider.

I am not smart enough to accurately describe this engineering breakthrough, but let's give it a shot. This machine, shoots protons through a 17-mile tunnel the size of a fire hose. Super magnets control their path so that they collide, thus giving scientists the ability to understand where all of matter originated (which they say is most likely the Big Bang Theory).

Reading the article made my brain hurt. For those out there who are not astrophysicists, here are some answers to basic questions about dark matter. Proton Collision for Morons .

It's amazing stuff. Now, excuse me while I go home and try to properly set my DVR to record my new favorite game show "Hole in the Wall". We will leave the smart things to do to the scientists.

A Smarter Blog

Check out this blog. Indexed is clever and requires real intellect.

The only other comment is that I hope that BlastCranium can someday offer this level of daily entertainment.

Please come back again.

Shocking Name for OKC

I have pulled this post from the work of a fellow blogger. Here is a great perspective on the chosen nickname of the new NBA franchise in Oklahoma City. Straight in from MillsportBlog - Enjoy.

Pulling a page from the USFL's (or CBA's or XFL's or Arena League's or WNBA's) playbook, the NBA's new franchise in Oklahoma City has selected "Thunder" as its nickname.

Xtreme, Rage, Blitz, Gold, Fire, Burn, Shock, Fever, Thunder -- they all have one thing in common: They're soulless.

The franchise's previous name -- the Seattle SuperSonics -- had personality, style, and a soul. It honored the city's roots as an aerospace hub just as the Packers, Vikings, Oilers, Dolphins, Rockets, Astros, Pistons, and so many other teams have paid tribute to the history and heritage of the cities and regions they call home. These names are distinct, unique, memorable. They're real.

"Thunder" is a generic moniker that's safe. It's also amorphous and generic. And a poor choice for a team trying to create a brand.

"I Am Rich" Screensaver

This genius screen saver application was available on the iTunes store for exactly 2 days before it was pulled. The "I am Rich" screen saver is nothing more than a glowing gem that costs $999.99, which is the maximum an application can be sold for at this online store.

Eight people have already bought it. Let's face it, there are a lot of idiots walking around with an extra thousand bucks to spend.

Designer Armin Heinrich was on to something. I think he could have sold a couple thousand of these and started a community of people who would say; "Look at me. that's right, I bought this thousand dollar screen saver that does nothing. I have enough money to do something stupid; and tomorrow, I will still be rich."

We have not heard the end of this fun phone accessory.