"What"?!

Here is another installment in my series on hilarious blogs. (if you missed my first one, check out my September 9 posting on indexed)

Founder of the "Blog of Unnecessary Quote Marks", Bethany Keeley has a great selection of signs and advertising that horribly misuse this popular form of punctuation.

I have been criticized for overusing parentheses and improperly capitalizing words in the middle of a sentence, so I am laughing with these people.

A Building with a Twist

Here is a perfect entry for a blog that is all about "idea insanity.

Plans are underway, in the international hot spot of Dubai, to build an 80-story skyscraper that literally changes shape at any given moment.

Each floor of this architectural masterpiece will rotate independently enabling the building to always have a unique look. Even better, residences will have a different view of this breathtaking city as the day goes by.

Wind turbines will supply the power necessary to keep things moving and, of course, make the skyscraper energy efficient.

Units will range from $4-$40 million. The only chance I have of spending time in this building is if they hire me to work the valet parking.

Walk This Way?

Some of the greatest engineers in the world work for Japanese auto maker Honda Motor Company. Evidence of their brilliance is the introduction of this new robotics invention.

The wearable robotic walker will revolutionize the workplace for those who are on their feet or in the crouching position for hours at end.

My initial reaction was, "this is fantastic, now I can reduce the horrible stress of walking from my desk to the supply room".

Seriously though, this high tech product is not designed so the average American office worker can get just a tad bit lazier. It is meant for the hard working factory employee, so that they can be more productive and spend less time in physical therapy.

It's somewhat encouraging that Honda is inventing machines that help factory workers instead of replacing them.

I am thinking about buying 20 of these robotic devices and starting my own version of the popular stage show, River Dance.

Portion Crazy

The baking legends at Hostess have finally decided to offer its mega-brand Twinkie in 100-calorie portions.

I am a huge fan of the Twinkie. Like most Americans, I love my snack to consist of a spongy yellow cake filled with delicious whipped fat.

I am not really ready for the Twinkie to be packaged to be in any way nutritious. Let's face it, if counting calories is part of my dietary plan, I don't need to be thinking about Twinkies.

The next time you see me at the Quickie Mart, I will be purchasing all Hostess products at full size. In fact, if you are looking for any additional product extension ideas, please consider offering a foot-long version of the Suzy Q.

Reflect This

The good people at interferenceinc.com provided me with this insane tech marvel. This interactive mirror allows you to be amazingly creative and look at yourself at the same time.

Watch the mirror video for a closer look at how it works.

This cool device looks like a lot of fun, but with my accelerating hair loss and periodic weight gain, I really try to minimize the amount of time spent in front of a mirror.

For all of you beautiful people out there, go get one.

Which One of These People Do Not Belong Here?

Jerry Jones has found a way to raise his stock with the tween female demographic. No, it's not a line of Hannah Montana Cowboy's gear. Actually, it's pretty close.

The massively popular Jonas Brothers will be playing halftime at Texas Stadium during the Thanksgiving game between the Dallas Cowboys versus the Seattle Seahawks.

It would be easy to just start ridiculing this idea, but it is all about raising money for the Salvation Army, so no ripping.

All I can say is that it will be kind of weird inside the stadium during this show. I have been to a lot of NFL games in my life and the percentage of girls 8-14 in the stands is extremely small.

But to Jerry's and the NFL's credit, the big story for this performance is the massive TV audience that will tune in for the popular "boy band". I, on the other hand, have already slated that 20 minute time slot for my other favorite Thanksgiving tradition; pulling all of the Christmas decorations out of the attic.

Slip Sliding Away

Here is the latest wacky invention being pitched by legendary infomercial star Billy Mays.

The Big City Slider

Am I missing something here? Do I really need this contraption to cook hamburgers that are 1/2 the size of normal burgers?

Billy literally hypnotizes millions of people to buy completely unnecessary products. I sat in front of my television last weekend and let him yell at me for 30 minutes about Mighty Putty. Half way through the infomercial, my 9 year-old son brings the phone to me and says; "Dad, we have to get some of that Mighty Putty". I think the main reason my son wanted this product was because he had just smashed something in the other room.

If you really like your miniature hamburgers cooked perfectly, go ahead and grab you one of these. Otherwise, meet me at Chili's.

Blast Into the Past

Special shout out to one of my top advisers, Whitney, for sending in this gem.

This fantastic site allows visitors to upload a head shot and create some hilarious throwback yearbook pictures.

Yes, the picture is me. I actually remember having this popular hair style.

Check out yearbookyourself.com and experiment with your own picture.

Head Games

The brilliant engineers at Emotiv have developed a new video game accessory that will guarantee that the next generation of teenagers are the laziest ever.

This new device will, literally, read our brain waves so that we can control characters on video games without any muscle movement, whatsoever.

Obviously, there are spectacular benefits to this device. Especially for those who do not have the luxury of movements that most of us are fortunate to have. For that reason alone, I applaud the outstanding developers at Emotiv.

For me personally, I am not sure that I want this contraption to get inside my head. My brain is already a mess.

Indiana Jones and the Potato of Doom

We all saw it coming. A big push this Christmas for Indiana Jones toys.

I will be the first to confess that we have purchased the Indiana Jones Lego video games for our two sons. I'm sorry, they are just really fun.

At some point, George Lucas has to see a toy extension from one of his movies and just say, "too much".

One of my favorite movie characters ever (yes, I was a kid when Raiders of the Lost Ark came out) is now a potato.

Stop it. George, you have enough of our money already.

Cosmic Odor?

Space smells like fried steak and hot metal. I'm serious.

NASA has paid a chemist from the British firm Omega Ingredients to recreate the odor for astronaut training.

My understanding is that the Universe is fairly large. Is there a chance that if we get closer to Saturn, that space smell like pot roast and a burning tire?

Can you imagine what was going through the mind of the guy at Omega Ingredients that took the call from NASA? "Let me get this straight, you want us to do what?"

I want to party with the guy at NASA who is in charge of the "Approved" stamp.

Idea Insanity Hall of Fame

From the BlastCranium archives we feature this slice of idea greatness. The sticker placed in upper corner of the driver side windshield that reminds us to change our oil every 3,000 miles.

I am no mechanic. In fact, I am not even sure why my car needs oil in the first place. But, my crack research team has run a series of tests and given me empirical proof that we don't need to change the oil in our car that often.

Bottom line, we only need to change the oil about half as many times as we do. That's OK, we have plenty of oil, right?

More Hall of Fame entries will be featured - stay tuned